The Hidden Struggles of Today’s Youth: Existential Dread, Mental Health, and the Art of Truth-Telling

We live in a world where the mental health crisis among young people isn’t just knocking at the door—it’s kicked it wide open, set up camp in the living room, and refuses to be ignored. Kids today are dealing with issues many adults can’t even begin to fathom. From the rise of existential dread to the complex ways mental health struggles show up in their behavior, the challenges are real, raw, and often misunderstood.

So, let’s tear down the old playbook filled with outdated advice like “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and get real about what’s happening, why it’s happening, and—most importantly—how we can help.

The Silent Weight: What Is Existential Dread?
Existential dread sounds like something out of a philosophy textbook, but it’s not just an abstract concept. It’s a very real, very heavy feeling that kids are experiencing at alarming rates.

What Is It, Really?
Existential dread is that deep, unsettling anxiety about the big questions in life:

What’s the point of all this?
Why am I here?
What if I never figure it out?
For adults, existential questions might pop up in the middle of a sleepless night. But for kids today? It’s part of their daily mental landscape.

Why Are Kids Feeling This Way?
Global Crises on Full Display: Climate change, pandemics, school shootings, economic instability—kids aren’t sheltered from these realities. They’re drowning in them, thanks to 24/7 news cycles and social media.

The Pressure to “Be Somebody”: Social media isn’t just about staying connected; it’s a constant highlight reel of everyone’s best moments. Kids feel like failures if they’re not perfect all the time.

Lack of Real-World Coping Tools: Many kids haven’t been given the space to build resilience in healthy ways. They’ve been overprotected from failure or overwhelmed by unrealistic expectations, leaving them fragile when life gets tough.

When Mental Health Becomes a Weapon (and What’s Really Behind It)
Now, here’s where it gets complicated. Some kids might seem like they’re embellishing their struggles—or even weaponizing their mental health to avoid responsibility, gain attention, or control situations.

But let’s pause before slapping the “manipulative” label on them. Because here’s the hard truth:

Kids don’t manipulate when they feel safe, seen, and heard.
When a child is lying, exaggerating, or using their mental health struggles as leverage, it’s often a desperate attempt to meet an unmet need.

Why Does This Happen?
They Don’t Know How to Ask for Help: If kids haven’t been taught healthy ways to express their emotions, they’ll find other ways—like exaggeration or deflection.

Attention as a Survival Tool: Sometimes, “acting out” is less about manipulation and more about survival. If negative behavior is the only way to get noticed, that’s what they’ll do.

Avoiding Consequences: Mental health struggles can become a shield to avoid accountability—not out of malice, but because they’re overwhelmed and don’t have the coping skills to face hard truths.

How to Respond: The 3 Cs—Curiosity, Clarity, and Compassion
So how do we handle these situations without making things worse?

Curiosity Over Judgment
Instead of jumping to conclusions, get curious.
Say: “I hear what you’re saying, and I really want to understand. Can you help me fill in the gaps?”
Why It Works: It opens the door for honesty without putting them on the defensive.

2. Clarity Without Accusation
If something doesn’t add up, it’s okay to call it out—but do it with respect.

Say: “I noticed a few things in your story that don’t quite match up. I’m not here to catch you in a lie—I just want to understand what’s really going on.”
Why It Works: It holds them accountable without shaming them.

3. Compassion AND Boundaries
Mental health struggles are real, but they don’t excuse harmful behavior. Show empathy while reinforcing limits.

Say: “I understand you’re feeling overwhelmed, and that’s okay. But we still need to find healthy ways to handle this.”
Why It Works: It validates their feelings while teaching personal responsibility.

Rewriting the Narrative: Ditching Harmful Sayings for Good
It’s time to bury the toxic catchphrases that have done more harm than good. Phrases like:

“Toughen up.” → Try this instead: “It’s okay to feel this way. Let’s figure it out together.”

“Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about.” → Better: “Crying is okay. What’s got you upset?”

“You’re too sensitive.” → Shift to: “Your feelings matter. Let’s talk about it.”
Words matter. The language we use can either build bridges or walls. Choose wisely.

The Bottom Line: You Can’t Fix What You Refuse to See
This isn’t about coddling kids or making excuses. It’s about understanding that behavior is communication.

Lying? They might feel unsafe telling the truth.
Exaggerating? Maybe they think their real struggles aren’t “big enough” to be heard.

Weaponizing mental health? It could be the only language they’ve learned to express distress.

Our job isn’t to control kids. It’s to connect with them. To dig deeper than the surface behavior and ask:
“What’s really going on here?”

Because beneath every “problem kid” is a kid with a problem.

Beneath every lie is a truth they’re too scared to tell.

And beneath every outburst is a question they’re too afraid to ask:
“Am I safe? Am I seen? Am I enough?”

Let’s be the adults who answer that question with unwavering clarity:
“Yes. You are.”